I don’t think anything has humbled me more than motherhood. I’ve never been more aware of my sin/limits. How little power, patience, etc. I have. The smallest thing sets me over the edge some nights (last night). And I feel so helpless. Why do I keep doing the things I hate? Why can’t I respond in love, at all times? I know it’s because I’m human. It’s hard to imagine how God is perfectly patient toward me - a sinner. Surely He’s disappointed in me for not getting it right, again. For raising my voice at my two year old who only asked for me to get her boogies and then proceeded to dodge my every attempt to help her. Surely He’s tired of me grumbling, tossing out twelve f bombs as I stomp around downstairs.
It breaks my heart to know that I’m going to hurt my daughter/let her down/need to come to her and ask her to forgive me.
There’s no point in trying to cover up these ugly parts. Jesus sees them all. And he paid the price for each. I don’t have to hide in shame. He puts robes of white on me and calls me beloved.
I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Do you need a hiding place to escape from shame? God is willing to be your hiding place or refuge. Draw close to him when shameful thoughts attack you, and he will give you comfort.
This is what Paul must mean by boasting of weakness…
It may seem odd, especially on the internet/social media, to boast about my weakness as a mom (these are the places we typically show off the highlights/get to curate our ideal self-image… guilty) - Yet, even the sum of my very best days, best efforts, and favorite qualities pale in comparison to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ and being fully known and fully loved and forgiven by Him. I have absolutely nothing to prove. All is grace.
2 Corinthians 12:9
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
Are you weary too, friend? Run to Him.